How to see which sex toy is the best for you

There are a lot of options when it comes to pleasure toys. But finding the right one for you can take some research and trial and error.

To help, we asked sex educators and experts for their advice on shopping for vibes that will bring you orgasms. Keep these tips in mind when looking for your next sex toy.


A dildo is a sex toy designed to be inserted into the vagina, anus or mouth for internal stimulation. They are available in a variety of shapes and sizes to suit different types of play.

One of the best dildos for clitoral stimulation, the Lovehoney Desire Luxury, has two long and short shafts with eight vibration patterns that can be used individually or together. The toy also has a remote control, making it ideal for thrilling coupled sex.

The most realistic dildos feature a pronounced head and sculpted veins to recreate the feeling of an erect penis. These dildos are usually made of silicone, which is body-safe and nonporous and can be cleaned with soap or a sex toy cleaner. Those who prefer something more durable can opt for glass, which is easy to use with any lube and can handle rough play. However, it isn’t recommended for beginners or those with sensitive bits because it’s stiff and can bruise the skin.


Often phallic, packers are soft and flexible and mimic the look of a flaccid penis in your underwear or clothes. They’re usually not designed for sexual penetration, but they can be used in a variety of ways. Many people wear them for self-pleasure, and some trans, nonbinary and gender nonconforming folks use them to affirm or express their genitals.

Some packers are made of firmer material and can be flexed for penetrative play and sex, earning them the nickname “pack and play.” They may also feature an internal rod that stays bent or have an adjustable hinge at the base to allow you to position your dildo up, down or somewhere in between for different sensations.

Regardless of what type you choose, packers are right up against your skin and should be treated with care. Boiling them or soaking them in a sanitizing solution like Viraclean is a good idea to help prevent infections. You should also be sure to wear snug underwear and a harness that’s specifically designed to hold your packer.


For harnesses that you wear around your hips, make sure the straps fit comfortably and don’t feel restrictive. They should be tight enough to hold the dildo securely, but they shouldn’t cut off circulation or pull on your body in unnatural ways. Some harnesses come with a dildo already attached, which saves time and effort. For the best results, find a harness that matches the girth of your desired dildo. Another great option is to shop for a harness variety pack that includes dildos in a variety of sizes and shapes, or a harness that has adjustable O-rings so you can swap out dildos as your mood strikes.

For those new to harness sex, consider trying a pegging kit that comes with an adjustable harness, two differently sized dildos (including one super-small for complete beginners), and a bullet vibrator you can slip in behind the dildo. Just add water-based lube and you’re ready to go!


There’s a lot you can do with just two bodies, but sex toys open the door to new kinds of play and exploration. They add excitement and can help target erogenous zones.

To see which sex toy is the best for you, start by asking yourself how you hope to use it. For example, if you’re looking for something to play with on the tongue, consider an oral sex toy.

If you’re interested in making foreplay a little more interesting, or dabbling in light BDSM, try the Wartenberg Wheel. It’s a real medical device that a neurologist used to test nerve reactions, but the kink community fell in love with it for its ability to stimulate key erogenous zones.