A sex life can easily start to feel routine after a while. However, that doesn’t mean it has to be boring!
Adding novelty is a good way to stimulate libido. And there are many ways to do it.
For example, you can try role-playing or bring in new toys. These can all be great for turning your partner on.
Make a sex bucket list
Most people have sexual adventure fantasies, but many of them aren’t easy to replicate in real life. Whether you’re in an exclusive long-term relationship or a casual hookup, trying out new things can boost excitement and sexual satisfaction.
Make a sex bucket list of all the kinky things you want to try in the bedroom. You can add as many or as few items as you like and tweak them over time to reflect your changing preferences.
For example, if you once loved the idea of having sex at a lake (which sounds more romantic than it actually is), but now you find it unsatisfactory, remove it from your list. There are always more arousing ways to add thrills, such as by introducing edible body paints or having sex underwater.
Try a new position
There’s nothing wrong with horizontal novelty, but if you seek it out as your primary source of excitement in sex, it can become like a dessert diet: you’ll be gratified for a while but it won’t keep you going long-term. That’s why it’s important to include a mix of both vertical and horizontal novelty in your sex routines.
One way to do this is by trying a new position. For example, if you’re usually the recipient in positions like the “Ceiling Move”, try taking more control and thrusting yourself (with the help of your spouse’s hands or arms).
Another option is to add some foreplay, using toys or other methods of stimulation that provide a different kind of pleasure than just the initial thrill of penetration. This can lead to deeper penetration and a longer climax, which will also enhance satisfaction.
Try a new toy
Horizontal novelty is great but it has its limits. It can become like a tasty dessert: it’s satisfying at first but, eventually, it becomes boring.
Vertical novelty is more effective because it increases feelings of sexual satisfaction. This can be achieved through foreplay, trying new positions, or using a sex toy.
There are many options for sex toys, from phallus sleeves to cock rings and strokers. Some sex toys can be used alone while others can only be experienced with a partner. Check out a website with sex toy reviews and choose one that appeals to your interests. Some sites also offer money-back guarantees, which is great if the toy doesn’t turn you on. HuffPost may receive a share of sales from products purchased via links on this page. Prices and availability subject to change.
Try a new location
Changing the scenery in the bedroom can be a great way to make it more exciting. You can try a hotel room, a tent, or even your backyard. This can add a whole new element of anticipation and excitement to the sexy time you’ll be having together.
You can also experiment with taking away certain senses to heighten the experience. Blindfolds are a popular sex toy for this reason, but you could also try noise-canceling headphones or using light bondage.
The goal of this is to increase vertical novelty, which takes more work up front but results in deeper intimacy in the long run. It’s a little more risky but it can be a lot more fun. This type of novelty involves really getting to know your spouse on a deeper level and being open and honest with them.
Try a new scent
Humans are wired for novelty, and that’s especially true in the bedroom. But sometimes sex can feel stale when couples get stuck in a routine. That’s when it might be time to try something new!
While horizontal novelty can be fun, it’s often short-lived. Think of it like a delicious dessert that’s great to indulge in every once in a while, but won’t satisfy your hunger long-term.
Vertical novelty, on the other hand, is about pursuing depth in your spouse. It’s about seeking the treasure within the same terrain. It could be anything from exploring different textures with your partner to trying a new scent that triggers arousal. For example, jasmine is known to boost libido and soothe the nervous system, while Karma, the Indian love god, used it to soften his arrows before he pierced hearts.